India Week #1 .. cont/..

Day 3: More of Amritsar …

Day 3 started out pretty lazy .. it was 15th of August hence parades and all were on in the city centre .. and it was busier than usual what with Vagha Border being close by.  We didnt get up like until noon then decided that a visit to Punjab was not complete without a run in the fields and pange (Messing around) with the majha (buffaloes) .. !!

Tempoo

We got on to the famous Tempoos and headed towards my aunt’s village – Nabipur that is on the outskirts of Amritsar!

It was great being out in the open with no buildings in sight .. but fields and fields of greenery .. got a chance to get on to my cuz’ ‘Bullt’ (Punjabi slang for Bullet) and have a go at it .. damn it is one powerful machine .. not only that .. knowing me and my craziness of course the run on the bike wasn’t enough .. I had to get on to the tractor as well init .. lol .. an unhaat geara .. and it was not as easy it looked!! heehee

We seriously thought we would get a chance to take a bath at the Bambee (pumps used to irrigate the farms), but the picture below more or less summarizes the state of the pumps and water and how we tried to overcome the ‘disappointment’ of not having had a chance to splash around in water in sickening heat and humidity .. lol

Fun at the water-less bambee

And of course our pange with the majh .. meet our models for the day ..

Models for the day!

Majh

India .. Week # 1 – “Getting Reacquainted”

After 5 years I finally get a chance to revisit my motherland .. India.

India

Davi and I had been planning on this trip for nearly a year and we had decided that we would avoid staying with relatives and do a mini yatra (pilgrimage) of the Gurdwaras in and around Punjab and if possible Hemkunt Sahib and Hazur Sahib as well.

We landed at Indira Gandhi Int’l Airport at like 800 hrs on Thursday morning .. the 13th of September 2009.  Excited was definitely an understatement as to what we were experiencing!! Jaggy was also with us and well his state was like that of a small kid let loose in a candy shop !  The temperatures were in the mid 30s and the humidity unbearable .. but this did not lessen our joy!

Although we would have preferred a train ride to Punjab .. but coz we didn’t do any reservations beforehand, we had to take an 8 hour taxi ride .. this can be fun if you aren’t too jet-lagged or sleep derived .. heehee .. !  We were totally knackered after the 12 hour journey so slept most of the way .. Got to Jalandhar late in the evening and were  pleasantly surprised to meet our cousins from Canada!! Bhuaji’s house was like a family base that night .. we had a re-union that I don’t think we are likely to forget any time soon!!

Day 2: Amritsar

Got up like at midday having spent the better part of the night catching up amidst the buzzing of mosquitoes and electricity rationing  and trying to fan ourselves with hand fans – commonly knows as pakhees .. hehehe!  For those who have never been to this rich country just know that for most the day doesn’t begin before 900-1000 .. at least not in Punjab .. so we had a leisurely breakfast / lunch at 1400 and then left for Amritsar .. the Holy City of the Sikhs and home to the Harmandir Sahib – Golden Temple.

I am blessed to have been born in Amritsar .. this is where my maternal grandmother used to live before her demise last year .. this was my chance to bid her my final farewell .. we got to the bus ‘adda’ (station) around 1700 and called mamaji (uncle) to come and pick us up .. and knowing mamaji, his 5 minutes were likely to become half an hour!!  So we decided to introduce Jaggy to his first auto-rikshaw (tempoo) ride .. living life the tourist style!  Damn! Can’t remember the last time I enjoyed life and its simple pleasures so much!  We literally took pictures of each and everything around us .. and yes we were nearly beaten up for supposedly taking a guy’s wife’s picture!! heehee

Mamaji was waiting for us at the main entrance of mum’s home and boy-oh-boy .. I am out of words to describe the state of emotions when I saw nanima’s house .. amidst the greetings and noise we nearly forgot to take our luggage out of the auto .. yup trust us to be responsible .. so yeah anyways .. getting the greetings, hugs and tears out of the way we made our way inside and the first place I peeked in to was nanima’s room!!  It felt like she was still there .. yes she wasn’t there physically but it wasn’t hard trying to remember her sweet voice and kind love-filled eyes … Need to stop here before I get uncontrollably emotional :,(

To be cont/…

A Random “Tag” ..

Ok so after like a few gloomy days I finally get ‘resurrected’ to my ol’ crazy self . . lol … wow!! Life feels good!!  There is so much to be thankful for .. aaaannnd before I get all ‘reflective’ lets get on with this post .. heehee

Its like a ritual for me to log on to email, facebook and my Blog (like finally!!) every evening, so I was just going though Snow’s most recent post and ‘tagged’ myself on to it .. so enjoy!!

1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn on page 18 and find line 4?
Surfaces of the Wood Girth 100 – 200 mm .. lol I dunno whether a BQ (bill of quantity) would qualify as a book .. but it was the closest book-like thing to my right!!

2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can & touch air?
Ouch!! Not air!! I just banged my hand in to the CPU!! Sheesh .. this quiz is already very crazy .. but I am liking it!!

3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?
Khatron Ke Khiladi 2 on Colours – Fear Factor the Hindi Version!

4. Without looking, guess what time it is?
ummm .. I think around 9.15p.m. .. though to be honest it is very tempting to look at my wrist watch right this moment!!

5. Now look at the clock, what is the actual time?
Sheesh .. ok weird .. 9.50 p.m. .. hmm not that off then ..

6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
Dad discussing tomorrow’s plan at site with chacha .. mum in the kitchen .. the whirring and beeping of the micro and of course the TV in the living room

7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
In the evening .. had gone to open the gate for someone and met the neighbours so went around the corner kiosk to have a chat with the kiosk owner .. lol .. I love living in Kenya … I get to be an ‘Askari’ in my own house .. heehee

8. Before you started this Q&As, what did you look at?
errmmm the computer screen .. like duh!!!

9. What are you wearing?
My fave n most comfy attire – a black CK-iSikh hoodie, with my red ‘apna punjab 06′ Bhangra tee underneath and black with lemonish green stipes track bottoms .. and lets not forget the feet .. red Virgin Atlantic give-away sock and tan-coloured Bata doll shoes .. heehee .. it prolly sounds funny .. but as I said the most comfy clothes for a relaxing evening at home!!

10. When did you last laugh?
Right now when answering question # 9

11. What is on the walls of the room you are in?
Loadza shelves lined with files and building blue prints .. any guesses where I am???

12. Seen anything weird lately?
Yes! This quiz for one!

13. What do you think of this quiz?
I think I have already expressed my views on that .. lol .. its weird but very much fun for someone getting ready for a grueling late night finishing office work!

14. What is the last film you saw?
Some Navratri-related film … the name I don’t quite remember.

15. If you became a multimillionaire overnight, what would you buy?
What many would want I guess .. a trip around the World and help those who are not in a position to help themselves .. make a change! Actually I wouldn’t mind going to Mars as well

16. Tell me something about you that I dunno!
What DO you know in the first place? lol .. is it fair to answer a question with a question ??

17. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
I would change the attitude of taking up ‘fake personnas’ that we tend to hide under .. why can’t we just be real and stop ‘wearing and changing’ personalities like a snake sheds it’s skins .. ?

18. Do you like to Dance?
Yes!! Its the perfect way to express one’s emotions I believe.

19. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
After my great-grandma – Prem Kaur.

20. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?
The same .. Prem Singh

21. Would you ever consider living abroad?
I think regardless of what we think .. to me living abroad is another name of life .. so technically speaking we are always ‘living abroad’ .. heehee

22. What do you want GOD to say to you when you reach the pearly gates?
‘Welcome Bache .. Welcome back Home’

Cycle of Life .. Cont/..

Just found out that mataji (House No. 3) passed away today at 1700 hours. They say that one who passes away on a Thursday gets a thorugh way to heaven and a release from the viscious cycle of life, death and re-birth!!
Rest in Peace Mataji.

Cycle of Life

Today was definitely a very crazy day .. I managed to sneak out of work at like 10 in the morning – the biggest advantage of having the car .. and thought I’d get home and sort out some paperwork before this crazy meeting with the clients.  But mama dearest had another agenda in her mind!! So like when I got home she’s like she wanted to go and visit a few people (vadhaiya/apsos) so would I mind chaffeuring her and her friends for like an hour .. I was like yeah sure I mean it’d be great cruising around South C roads again and re-acquainting myself with the crazy matatu drivers !!

So we went to 4 houses .. and every house we visited gave me a glimpse in to the stages of our life!!

House No. 1

This year has been very heavy for many people who I know in that we have already of so many deaths that it’s not funny anymore.  So this lady we went to visit had recently lost her young nephew and mum guys wanted to go and convey their condolences to the family’s lose.  Through talk I found out that the young man who passed away had been engaged to be married this September! I couldn’t help but wonder what must have been going on in his betrothed’s mind when she heard of his demise .. the dreams she must have had .. all shattered in the blink of an eye!! What was even sadder was the fact that she was an orphan and had recently lost her dad a year back! This was one way of looking at how a death can affect a person … The boy’s family are definitely in a shock!!

What I re-realised from this is that we all know of the time when a baby is to be born on to this earth but we have no way of knowing when a person is to leave!!  Also this goes to show that we are at the end of the day all alone in this world and that no rishta (relation) is permanent .. apart from the one we have with the Akaal Purakh! (God)

House No. 2

We went to visit a member of mum’s Sikh Women Society and her husband had suffered a minor stroke so haal chaal puchhan gaye si (find out how he was doing).  It started off with a simple headache and high BP .. then a break out of mumps which was treated .. so basically a whole sequence of mishaps and the couple decided that it was best of they had a checkup done in India.  All in all they managed to get there in time and avoid any serious damages .. though his jaw was affected but he is back to working the he used before the stroke.

What was to learn from here was that Guruji saves those HE wants to .. you know like how the buzurg (elders) say that a bamaari (sickness) is just a bahana (excuse) that leads up to death .. but in this case Guruji’s saved them.  But what I  sorta got from this visit was that yes we have this body and we have to take care of it .. but we must also remember that its not ours to keep and it too will deteriorate.

House No. 3

Mum said that this was going to be the last house we visit before heading home!  Boy had I known what I was going to see in there I would definitely have just stayed back in the car!!!  We went to find out the haal chaal of this mataji that I had always seen doing seva (selfless servise) at South C Gurdwara since I was a kid.  Mum had found out that she fell ill a few days back complaining of a leg ache at the Gurdwara.  So we met one of her daughters in the veranda and she pointed us to mataji’s room.  We could hear Chopai Sahib’s paath being recited and a simran CD playing in the background .. to be honest I was expecting to see mataji sitting in her bed with her simarna (rosary) as we always did but what I saw left me speechless!! Yes mataji was in her bed but in a peculiar state of unconsciousness .. her mouth lay open and a drip attached to her hand through which she was being fed!  There were other ladies from the istri sabhas (women’s committee at the Sikh Temples) locally who were reciting the Chopai.

Mataji is probably in her late 80s.  She is one person known to have been the first person in the langar hall and the last one to leave after all the rotis/pedas (chapatis) were done.  She was also one of the last people to leave the Gurdwara in the evening during Gurpurb Akhand Paths having made sure that the sabzi (vegetables) was cut and washed for langar the next day . and this seva she continued till the day she was taken ill.  Her daughter-in-law told us that mama plain refused that she would not go to the hospital and be killed by being fed paani (water/glucose drips) through a drip so they made provisions for her to get medical attention at home.

Seeing Mataji in that state was again a harsh reminder of the fact that what we are today is not what we will be tomorrow .. it also made me realise that we will keep breathing until our swaas (count of breaths) are finished so we shouldn’t waste them on inconsequential matters .. we will not leave this world without clearing our lekha (dues) and we have to suffer our share of pain .. the other thing I realised from this (and also my nanima’s life) was that lambi umar (long life/old age) can sometimes be a curse in disguise .. especially if you see those younger to you go before you.

House No. 4

You can imagine my surprise when mum says there is just one more place to go .. this after saying that Mataji was the last one we had to visit!! But lucky her coz I wasn’t in the state to say much less do anything after having witnessed what mataji was going through!

So we went to Ruchi’s neighbourhood .. and I was like phew! at least Ruch would help in calming my nerves!! But nope we were going in to someone else’s house!! These guys had just been blessed with a grandson!! So yes a stark contrast to having just seen near-death and now seeing a new born!! They named the baby Dyal Singh and boy was he one cute baby!! Not cranky at all!!

Seeing Dyal was like looking at a complete cycle of life after having been to the three houses before!!

Birth –> Youth –> Adulthood –> Sickness –> Old Age –> Death
Death and Sickness being the variables in the equation!

Today I can say I have truly witnessed the cycle of life!! – Too poetic/cliche?? Well life is probably the biggest cliche ever!!

Love … ???

Love .. a taboo subject for me .. yet today I have this uncontrollable urge to write something about this one very alien word in my world …

Am I in love ..

with someone I have known for ages?
with someone I just met?
with this guy who is old enough to be my grandfather?
with that small adorable child who asked me to be his girlfriend?
with someone who is just a figment of my imagination?
with a voice whose face I have never seen?
with a name?
with someone I hate?
with my enemy?
with someone who is out of bounds?
with someone who is dead?
with death?
Am I in love with all that I hate?
Am I in love with YOU?

I know a complete anti-thesis of what I usually write .. but today I have finally learned how to appreciate the small simple things in life .. I have also come to realize that love does take many forms .. its the understanding between friends, faith and trust between you and your close ones etc ..

You all have probably heard or read all these many times.  But today evening was a time of reflecting and I realized that without the bullies who made my life miserable I wouldn’t have had the courage to change me .. so yes I love them .. I am also in love with those I know I can’t ever have because just the ‘feeling’ is enough … sheesh very soapy indeed …

Last weekend my friend had this book entitled “Getting someone to love you” and to be completely honest getting through just the introduction was torture and I have reached the conclusion that I am not that insecure to want to ‘get’ anyone to love me .. I reckon the fact that ‘I’ love them is more than enough …

I am reflecting on the concept of Love .. but this verse by Sri Guru Raam Daas Ji comes to the mind very starkly ..

pRB kIjY ik®pw inDwn hm hir gun gwvhgy ]

prabh keejai kirapaa nidhhaan ham har gun gaavehagae ||

O God, Treasure of Mercy, please bless me, that I may sing the Glorious Praises of the Lord.

hau qumrI krau inq Aws pRB moih kb gil lwvihgy ]1]rhwau]

ho thumaree karo nith aas prabh mohi kab gal laavehigae ||1||rehaao||

I always place my hopes in You; O God, when will you take me in Your Embrace? ||1||Pause||

(- Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji, Panna 1321)
*PS: you may follow the link above to read the whole shabad

And thats the love I wanna achieve!!!

“River” – Moya Brennan

Whilst at Uni last year, I met this awesome guy!! And this is something he ‘gave’ me .. a love for something new .. Thanks Partner.  He is a Celt and the lyrics below are of a song entitled ‘River’ by an Irish singer Moya (Mairre) Brennan .. very soothing and deep .. Enjoy

River did you bring me here?
Touch me now
Wipe away my fear

I will follow you along the river
There many years carved the way
I am reaching for love that’s gone astray
Now I cannot sleep some days
Beyond faded tears I hide
I wish the rain would stay away
River did you bring me here?
Touch me now
Wipe away my fear
River miles and miles still flow
Shake this land
Reap where sounds will grow

How his love journeys on the river
Heart of darkness endless trail
I am feeling the edge, can I be strong
Now I will believe your song
Beneath diamond skies I dream
Two lonely hearts no more belong

River did you bring me here?
Touch me now
Wipe away my fear
River miles and miles still flow
Shake this land
Reap where sounds will grow …

** Death … **

An experience that I shall unfortunately not live to tell .. !

Over the past 6 months I have heard of more deaths than I would like to keep count of .. It definitely is God’s way of telling us that ‘change is indeed the only constant in life’ .. It has definitely made me realize that my time here is limited and I have to make the most of it .. and live my life in such way that when I leave this world I am smiling and everyone around me is crying – too egoistical of me perhaps but I guess if I aim at that then I will have lived a good, honest and honourable life .. 

Hmm .. funny enough when I was thinking of sharing this topic with the cyberspace I had a whole bunch of thoughts that I wanted to put up .. but now I am out of words and can only think of this hymn composed by Bhagat Trilochan Ji in Raag Gujri and can be found on the 526th Ang of Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji:

gUjrI ]

goojaree ||

Goojaree:

AMiq kwil jo lCmI ismrY AYsI icMqw mih jy mrY ]

a(n)th kaal jo lashhamee simarai aisee chi(n)thaa mehi jae marai ||

At the very last moment, one who thinks of wealth, and dies in such thoughts,

srp join vil vil AauqrY ]1]

sarap jon val val aoutharai ||1||

shall be reincarnated over and over again, in the form of serpents. ||1||

ArI bweI goibd nwmu miq bIsrY ] rhwau ]

aree baaee gobidh naam math beesarai || rehaao ||

O sister, do not forget the Name of the Lord of the Universe. ||Pause||

AMiq kwil jo iesqRI ismrY AYsI icMqw mih jy mrY ]

a(n)th kaal jo eisathree simarai aisee chi(n)thaa mehi jae marai ||

At the very last moment, he who thinks of women, and dies in such thoughts,

bysvw join vil vil AauqrY ]2]

baesavaa jon val val aoutharai ||2||

shall be reincarnated over and over again as a prostitute. ||2||

AMiq kwil jo liVky ismrY AYsI icMqw mih jy mrY ]

a(n)th kaal jo larrikae simarai aisee chi(n)thaa mehi jae marai ||

At the very last moment, one who thinks of his children, and dies in such thoughts,

sUkr join vil vil AauqrY ]3]

sookar jon val val aoutharai ||3||

shall be reincarnated over and over again as a pig. ||3||

AMiq kwil jo mMdr ismrY AYsI icMqw mih jy mrY ]

a(n)th kaal jo ma(n)dhar simarai aisee chi(n)thaa mehi jae marai ||

At the very last moment, one who thinks of mansions, and dies in such thoughts,

pRyq join vil vil AauqrY ]4]

praeth jon val val aoutharai ||4||

shall be reincarnated over and over again as a goblin. ||4||

AMiq kwil nwrwiexu ismrY AYsI icMqw mih jy mrY ]

a(n)th kaal naaraaein simarai aisee chi(n)thaa mehi jae marai ||

At the very last moment, one who thinks of the Lord, and dies in such thoughts,

bdiq iqlocnu qy nr mukqw pIqMbru vw ky irdY bsY ]5]2]

badhath thilochan thae nar mukathaa peetha(n)bar vaa kae ridhai basai ||5||2||

says Trilochan, that man shall be liberated; the Lord shall abide in his heart. ||5||2||

As a Sikh I belive in the cycle of life-death-re-birth, and I also belive that Death is the soul’s way of changing its outfit .. so its up to me to get it a respectable jaama (body) or rid it off this vicious cycle to attain moksha (salvation) at Akaal Purakh’s (God Almighty) lotus feet.

I can’t say that I am not scared of death .. but yes there is that excitement .. that when my time comes .. it will be mine and mine alone!!

“Me” .. As I stand today ..

They say that it is always good to stop and breath the air around you .. well today I decide to do just that (that too in the middle of the night .. ) .. and while taking in the fresh air I took the opportunity to carry out a .. errmm .. lets say .. a mini self-analysis.

Today .. 11th April 2009 

After 6 months of being back home and I have been a cook, housekeeper, daughter/son, camerawoman, entertainer, babysitter, accountant .. lol .. talk about being an all-in-one multidisciplinary .. lol .. but mainly I have come to realize that: .. get ready to read my all famous bullets .. lol .. :

•   I am definitely not the same person who left a year back (like duh .. understatement of the millenium!!)
• People (those you know very well) are not always what they portray to be .. again an understatement!
• Something that I always knew and only got my sentiments enforced on the fact that my parents are the greatest and I am indeed very lucky to have been blessed with such parents!
• Having expectations of any sort from anyone else but yourself is a worthless and hurtful excercise .. it just leads to heartbreak and pain!
• Be prepared for anything and anyone – something that my mum always tells me and I hadn’t taken it seriously before but now I am starting to get the true meaning and importance of such a simple statement.
• There is a time to act matured and grown-up, childish and playfull and finally a time to act your age!  I have figured that the safest bet is always on acting your age!
• Suck-up seems to be the key to .. well .. anything and everything!
• There is no true definition of a true friend .. it could be someone you just met a moment ago!
• There is only but one person you can trust .. and we all know ‘who’ that is!
• Learning and knowing to cook (regardless of one’s gender) is your one way ticket out of any situation .. lol .. funny I know but believe me this coming from a person who seriously hates the kitchen must mean something!!
• Marriage is not everything .. strong and harsh I know but having winessed 18 years old getting married seriously gave me the chills! I dont say that there is any ‘particular age’ to get married but I guess one’s goal play a major role in making this particular decision.
• I am a noisemaker .. lol .. don’t need a self-analysis to tell me that now do I? hehehe
• Home is Home and Family is Family regardless of what they do or say .. no friend no matter how loyal can be taken as a replacement for family!

Finally …

• Dhan Guru Naanak … Dhan Guru Naanak .. Dhan Guru Naanak!

I guess all simple things that if one ponders over can make life a hell of a lot easier!

Bein’ Back home … (*sigh*)

Hmmm … I seem to be getting all my posts mixed up .. I had promised a write-up on my life at Uni but I guess that will have to wait as I wanted to share my experiences of returning home after a year! Here goes ..

6.30 a.m 11th September 2008

The time and day I had been waiting for nearly 6 months!! The day (and time) I get back home to my mum, dad, bro, friends and the beloved city of the sun .. my home!!

…

A year away can be as long as a millennium or as small as the wink of an eye!  I choose to describe it as a dream that I thoroughly enjoyed and that was (thankfully) over before turning in to a nightmare!

Got home OK and was pleasantly surprised to see ‘Jiyu’ and veerji at home!  Hadn’t seen them 2 in ages!  It was definitely awkward but I guess after the initial ‘haphazard’ greetings it was all smooth sailings afterwards .. lol .. Mum guys were def exhilerated on having me back .. had awesome Aloo Pronthas after like a year!  It was all good .. i guess the whole week was awesome .. me getting all the ‘royal’ treatment and pampering that I missed out on .. hehehe!

Dad had to unexpectedly go to India and little was I to know that mum would be fast on his heels heading to India as well coz my Nani had a fall and serious reconstructive surgery .. and later meet her ultimate release .. death on 12Dec08!  All part of life they say .. but I can say that 2 months without your mum at home can teach you not only the ways of life but what you are as an individual!  It also gives an insight of what people/relatives actually feel towards you!

The hardest part of those 2 months would have to be times when I have felt helpless to be able to help my dad emotionally through his stress .. though come to think of it now the ‘cooking’ goes right up on that list too … lol .. I have defintiely had to grow up .. more than I had in a year at uni ..!!  Having to watch every step I make with so much caution I seriously felt like I was under a 24-hour surveillance camera!  People are always ready to point a finger at you at the drop of a hat!

I have got a chance to work with my dad and find out the hardships he has to face daily to just get some food on the table for all of us as well as cater for our needs.  I guess working with him has been the best part .. we are now closer than we ever were before and although I may have thought that I knew my father this is the time that I actually got to meet the person in my dad .. and boy am I proud of him!